New Year rhymes

Which Year?

A new year's here,
but what happened to the last?

I lost track a while back
when the last '19' went past.




New-Year Old-Year Solutions

New Year resolutions!
What shall I do?
Those from last year
still in the queue.
Find solutions
for all those resolutions -
and this time see them through!



New Year; Old War

In 1914 there was war.
In 2014 there is more.
What was it for? What IS it for?
Nobody ever seems sure.




Waiting Up for Midnight

I'm trying to stay awake.
If I drop off, give me a shake.
Hours to go before tomorrow
and who knows whose hands to shake?





All poems by Kate Williams.
Copyright: Kate Williams. All rights reserved.


Details of performances, workshops & published work @ poemsforfun.wordpress.com .

Christmas poems for perusing...

Hello and Happy Boxing Day!

Just in case anyone out there is twiddling their thumbs in the aftermath of Christmas Day, or has missed my previous posts, this is to mention (again) my Christmas-time and winter poems and rhymes - mostly humorous - on all pages here, with more (+ same) on my website blog: poemsforfun.wordpress.com .

Sympathy to all those flooded over Christmas! I shall be adding a rhyme about that too, later. At least we have a bit of crispy sparkle today... or did.

Deck the hall with sponge and bucket:
'tis the season to get flood-hit.

Kate

Christmassy & wintry poems for kids

Hello,

Having finally waded through the Christmas card-sending chore - I mean delight - and crawled out on the other side (just about), I've at last caught up a bit with my kids' page, and added some of my more Christmassy and wintry poems, with more to come.

They're best for older children or keen young readers, or for reading out loud. Adults usually enjoy my kids' poems too, so - who knows? - they could come in handy for family fun over Christmas! Perhaps they'll spur some ideas for a family verse or two as well! Or some illustrations for mine?

More to be found on my website, poemsforfun.wordpress.com. Click Kate Williams Poetry at top for all my run-up-to-Christmas poems through December and before. (See archived posts at side.)

Christmassy couplets tend to crop up in my Twitter offerings too, along with general pre-Christmas comments, positive and... well, let's face it, shall we, we're all stressed out, aren't we? See Twitter @Katypoet.


Feedback and comments welcome!

Wildlife Poems - book for kids...

Does your child like short, punchy poems? Atmospheric ones about foxes trekking through moonlit snow? Silly ones about dancing - oops! - slipping penguins? Fascinating ones about creatures hibernating under layers of snow? Then here's a book for their Christmas stocking:

Wildlife Poems (by me, Kate Williams)

£4.50 inc. post and packaging for UK orders. Best for older children - approx. age 8-12. (No illustrations - but see bright, crazy cover!)


To order: 

Order direct from me via my email: katewilliams.poetry@gmail.com .

Details: 

See Book (for kids) on my website for details.


Reviews & comments:

Congratulations on producing such a fine-looking book. Superior, I would say, to some published by the large presses. Roger McGough

These poems move quickly down the page like animals might, unleashing rhymes and rhythms everywhere.
Ian McMillan (poet, broadcaster, journalist and playwright)

Kate Williams finds a subject, gives it a twist and hey presto, that little bit of magic a poem needs is conjured up. Brian Moses (poet)

The book is a triumph … light of touch, with wonderful verbal imagery and playfulness throughout. Editor: Funny Poems (www.funny-poems.co.uk)

… well-crafted poems with a diverse range of forms, inventiveness of language, and clever employment of rhyme … always under total control.Graham Denton (poet, anthologist, and editor of Hands Up Books)




Sample poems from the book:

Monkeying Around

Trampolining, tree to tree,
bungee-jumping – look at me!

Backwards, sideways, upside down,
doing the dare-devil, acting the clown!

Swinging, leaping…
whoops, just missed…
saved myself with a mid-air twist!

Hanging down by my little toe…
oh…
and meeting two eyes
below.




Nature Walk

Slid in sludge,
flat on belly.
Stank my scarf,
sank a wellie.
Friends all laughed,
called me Smelly,
sent me off to have a bath
while they watched telly.




Polar Pyjamas

Pillow-puffy,
cushion-fluffy,
the dozy cubs twitch sleepy feet,
cosy, cuddly, snuggly and nice
between blanket and sheet
of snow and ice.




Jaguars and Jaguars

People think I have four wheels,
and another one too, to sit behind.
They think I go brmm, brmm, toot, toot!
But they'll find,
should they meet me one dark night,
that I'm a jag of a junglier kind -
not that I'd mind, but they might.




More on my website: poemsforfun.wordpress.com - Book (for kids) page.

Copyright:
All poems on this page and site are copyright Kate Williams. If you wish to use any for any commercial or public use, please contact me first. Thank you.

Kate

 

Xmas travel rhymes & rants...

Going away this Christmas? If so, it's time to start planning your journey.For a start, how are you travelling? If by train, have you rung the train enquiries call centre to check out the timetable, engineering works, likelihood of snow of a 'different kind' or any other potential causes of delay? When I say 'rung' them, I mean 'got through to anyone'  - you know, waited long enough to get an answer? Ah, you did wait long enough for someone to answer, but they still didn't? Hmm, well, how about just getting yourself down to the station and having a listen to the latest announcements - if you can hear them through that departing goods train?


Passenger announcement


The train due in at Platform One,
from Nottingham, has not begun.

The train due in at Platform Two
has been divided into two.

The train due in at Platform Three
has broken down at Coventry.

The train due in at Platform Four,
to Crewe, passed through an hour before.

The train due in at Platform Five
is cancelled, and will not arrive.

The train due in at Platform Six
is in a siding being fixed.

The train due in at Platform Seven
is approaching Platform Eleven.

The train due in at Platform Eight
will be 40 minutes late...
50, 60, two hours late...
will terminate at Billingsgate.
Passengers who wish to wait,
please check screen for next due date.


(By me, Kate Williams)


Well, how about jumping in the car, then? Oh, in the garage again, is it? After last Christmas's floods and snow drifts and ice and fog and hurricanes, no doubt. Expensive business, weather.

Costly things, cars are!


Driving, driving, driving car
down to garage - just that far.

Car up ramp; me down bank:
know the verdict though not heard it -
Oo! Ow! Aah!


(By me, Kate Williams)

But if your car's actually in one piece, driving should be no problem - apart from the inevitable Christmas delays, and another round of those so-called 'global warming' symptoms. So, next step: check out the post code of your destination, key it into your SatNav, and test it out. Mine is usually a route or two behind, for some mysterious reason, resulting in orders to 'turn left at Orchard Avenue' or 'right at The Crescent' mid-motorway run, or the reverse, to 'continue 11 miles on M4' while I'm actually negotiating a maze of high-hedged country tracks. But keep on the right side of her (or him): they have strong personalities, these SatNav voices, and moods too, if you ask me. Minds of their own anyway: that's a cert.

Sat Nag

'Turn right at the junction - RIGHT, I say! '
(Can't you see, I've chosen a different way?)

'Humph! ... Re-calculating! ' says she.
(I've pulled in for petrol. Leave me be!)

'Please do a U-turn - a U-TURN, I said! '
(Please YOU turn 3-D, for a clout on the head!)

(By me, Kate Williams)



Well, there's always the old bus - if you're not going too far - or is there?


Buses  (scroll down to bottom of 'Humorous' page)

Lunch till tea: no sign whatever...
Then a bunch of three in a line together.

(By me, Kate Williams)



Or stay at home?

Have a lovely Christmas, wherever you are!

More winter travel poems and Christmassy rhymes @ poemsforfun.wordpress.com


Kate

Christmas shopping decisions

Modern hassles versus old ones

Here we are in 2013 - well into the 21st century now, and Christmas shopping isn't getting any easier, is it. Sure, we can order all our presents for everyone online from the comfort of our fireside armchairs, and have them delivered to the doorstep - those of us with computers and a handy stay-home relative or friend to sign for those deliveries, so what's the problem? No more city-centre trudges! What could possibly be wrong with that?

Well, for a start, only some of us have computers and parcel-signers. But before we even get to that stage, what do we order? The range of choice is becoming overwhelming - even more so since I wrote 'Decisions in the Food Hall' (4th poem down, 'Humorous' page).


But even before you step foot (or keypad click) into that ocean of online choice, there's the matter of what sort of gift to surf for, a specially daunting one for folk like me of a certain age trying to buy for youngsters. The younger generation are all into IT, of course, of which I know next to nothing: they all want something with an i in it, like an ipad or an ipod or an iphone or an - I dunno.

As for the older generation - well, they've got everything already, haven't they?  Many times over. They're up to their chins in socks and soaps from the last several decades, mostly still in their wrappers, and you can't even throw a box of chocs at them these days because they're all on diets - or claim to be anyway.

And then there are those worthy friends with consciences: those who, quite rightly, would reject any gift whose manufacture cannot be proved to be entirely fair for all involved, including the beetle it was tested on. Yes, all absolutely right and proper, but.

But for those of us who do still face the city swarms and stagger back to our distantly parked cars weighed down with items we bought at our wits' ends at prices only envisaged in nightmares, Christmas shopping isn't one iota easier than it ever was, surely - worse if anything, especially with our innovative 21st century eradication of that quaint old thing - the parking space.

Then, back home at last and on the verge of collapse, there's the wrapping up. Has anyone invented a gift-wrapping machine yet? If so, I haven't seen it. I could have done with it when wrapping up that fork (3rd poem down on my website post) or that plant - yes, plant.

Well, no good moaning over spilt soil!  Time to tackle those remaining question marks down me list!

Happy shopping,


Kate

Three Poetry & Music Shows

Summary of my 3 poetry show themes:

(1) The Mad Side of Modern - for all
(2) The Grim Side of Gardening - for gardening clubs
(3) Now & Then - for history societies


Now & Then is the latest, launched this week. It comprises poems, songs and anecdotes about the present and the past, about families and places, and about life styles then and now, viewed with a mix of cynical amusement and shadowy atmosphere.

All my material for all three shows is my own. I accompany my songs with classical guitar. Comedy is the aim of my first two themes, and even in the historical probings of Now & Then, cynical humour at the absurdities of our life styles through time is never lost in the shadows. 

My one-hour shows offer an extra sparkle and focus for meetings and events, as confirmed by host groups time and again. I recommend a short interval, for maximum enjoyment.

Details and feedback on my website: poemsforfun.wordpress.com (click appropriate pages).

Kate