Gardeners! Humorous poems to browse...

Hello, are you a keen gardener? You are? Really? But how can you be, when everything in nature seems to go against one's efforts? Don't worry - only joking... mostly.

But seriously, why is it that whatever I plant, weeds come up instead? Or if the actual planned plants do come up, they do it in a totally different part of the garden from the one I planted them in?

It was a joy to see forget-me-nots flowering last summer, for instance, with their twilight-defying baby-blue petals and star-bright centres, shining out to greet me whenever I nipped out to collect forgotten cardigans from the lawn, or search for my specs - lovely! But why grow out of a drain? I mean, there was a perfectly good flower bed for them just across the path.

Or if my plants do come up, and in the right place too, they do it three years hence, by which time I've got other plans for that corner of the garden, and don't particularly want an army of lupins marching through my new summerhouse!

Anyway, to get all these sorts of things off my chest, and to appease my constant zest to be writing poems (so much easier and totally mud-free), I've built up quite a collection of gardening (or non-gardening) poems now, and rather than have them lie idle in my drawer, I've put some of them up here on this site, as you'll see. Others will be swapped in and out now and again. If you're the other side or end of the world, remember I'm in damp, soggy Britain.

Enjoy, and/or, let me have your comments.

Good gardening!